13 Things Mentally Strong People Avoid.
1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don’t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their
circumstances or dwelling on the way they’ve been mistreated. They have learned
to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an
inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are
able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for
the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with
phrases such as “Oh, well.” Or perhaps simply, “Next!”
2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make
them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions.
They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.
3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome
challenge. Their biggest “fear,” if they have one, is not of the unknown, but
of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even
uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.
4. Waste Energy on Things They Can’t
Control. Mentally
strong people don’t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or
especially about other
people, as they recognize that
all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation,
they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response
and attitude, and they use these attributes well.
5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out
of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength?
Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and
fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They
are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will
navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.
6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated
risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish
risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits
thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the
worst-case scenarios before they take action.
7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in
acknowledging the things learned from past experiences—but a mentally strong
person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or
in fantasies of the “glory days” gone by. They invest the majority of their
energy in creating an optimal present and future.
8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It’s when we
take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better
outcome than we’ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full
responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and
productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful
executives and entrepreneurs.
9. Resent Other People’s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and
excitement for other people’s success. Mentally strong people have this
ability. They don’t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although
they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to
work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.
10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest
entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought
many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if
necessary, as long as the learning experience from every “failure” can bring
them closer to their ultimate goals.
11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they
spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive.
Most importantly, they don’t depend on others to shore up their happiness and
moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.
12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees
at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a
salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their
preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to
work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.
13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it’s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or
starting a business, mentally strong people are “in it for the long haul”. They
know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time
in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on
the way. They have “staying power.” And they understand that genuine changes
take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you
need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own
abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?
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